virtua fighter

happiness is short-lived, a statement over used but commonly true. i was still in a complacent attitude, singing to disco tunes in the car of the likes of bee gees, having a helluva time after clocking some good cash from selling my old toys. tho it's hardwork, having to deal with dead bidders, fussy buyers, delaying meetups, resulting in mind drains, lack of sleep, the cash that came in was kind enuff to give me a good meal for a long time. i had treated myself with some omu rice. so much that i'm not used to, for i've been eating less and cheap i guess of late.

i fasted yesterday, skipping supper n breakfast. i could skip lunch, wait til dinner, to make it a 24hour fasting, for God to forgive me, to remember me, to help me.

my earnings were put into good use for family emergency.

selling my toys had it's meaning. it's not for my recovery, but to aid others. it's not for my luxury, but to help others. have i gone selfish, being sad for the addiction of savings or having money in the bank that could not be fulfilled? i guess that depends on what emergency we're talking about.

God continue to look after me. my manager called me 2day to be recalled for work with double pay. i rejected him. i was all prepared last night, that if they call me i'll go. it's good money, money that's easier to earn than selling my fucking toys. but somehow i took a rejection route. i dunno what got into me ....

the pros of returning is for the money. the pros for not returning i could catch up with my life, my wife. and catching up with my life will be delivering toys, playing some games on my PS3, watching some dvd .... and the pros of having more money is to live.

the cons of returning to work is my TIME will be sucked. i'll be unable to do all the things i drafted. but i could push myself a little more like i use to, the more u push the better u get. squeeze every fuck drop of my time, i can accomplish it.

thing is, am i suffering from fatigue already? do i need a little more rest? has my temper gone haywire? could a little more rest 2day reward me my recovery and i'll discover my zest?

i've learn thru the game "the sims" in the late 90s. u'll need to balance yourself with work, money, entertainment, excercise, interaction. a person will be eccentric if a trait is lacked. i've alwasy been imbalanced, somewhat pple call this group of pple "cool". but frankly, they're freaking imbalanced, just like me.

i cleaned up my 12inch figures earlier. some shit i could have done for quite awhile. the room looked like a fucking mess. and i need to play my games. for i'm just fucking imbalanced. not going back today to work is alright, the manager seems alittle let down by my reaction. hope no opinions are formed. i've got to live with my decision, it's time for a break, sacrifice money, and i'll go alonger mile with sufficient mind rest, and i emphasize, MIND rest. for my body doesnt need rest, it's just a carcass.


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705pm movie at vivocity is booked. i told my wife, "i fucking need to watch this movie". her reply, "yup, me too". it's been some separation between us, bout time i should patch it back. we'll gonna watch "the messengers". horror movies gets us excited.

things flow .... god knows .... human waits.