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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

methods of modern dancing (how to kill yourself)

my ideal suicide method has always been “the leap of death”. before the point of impact you’d experience the flashbacks of life. some say it’s painless, tho that’s not why i chose this form, but rather the surety of death. it’s supposedly you’re taken away before the impact, perhaps unless you survive the jump, you’ll get the smack.

the process -- first the despair at the point of jump. then the flight of the freedom -- all troubles will be over after this jump you thought to yourself. and next in line (in midair) the irony of the happiness in the flashbacks of life, followed by the regret, then the pain you went thru that leaded you to choose to end life you, of how the world had betrayed you. and while counting the events in slowmo you are zapped.

your spirit leaves the body, wondering why so many people are looking down at you, lyiny on the floorbed. splattered brain, twisted knees, fresh blood enlarging make filthy the concrete. some familiar faces weeped, while some strangers identifying how high you jumped from. amongst these strangers, some faces looked lifeless, purple and pale. these are your companion to that long walk to the light at the end of the tunnel.

i spoke to colleague, what’s your preferred suicide methods. the topic went on to various methods of suicide.

.gunshot to the head
.swallow pills
.swallowing detergent/shampoo (my police inspector colleague assures me death is impossible)
.leap of death
.running into a oncoming vehicle
.driving down a cliff
.hare kiri (japanese samurai sword to the tummy)
.intentionally fall on a slippery floor to hit something on the head or fall off from somehere high (to claim insurance)

is suicide an act of bravery? or is it an act of cowardness?

i’m in no position to comment. many people went through tough times, many had once thought of “ending it”, and many more emerged victorious battling the evil notion of self-death.

life was never yours, it was god-given. hell awaits those whom seek self-death. it’s not the end when you end life, another LIFE waits for you elsewhere. pain in the human world is endurable, as life is only a journey .... after he dark, it might still be dark promises, but god will choose your time, just wait.

life is all about waiting ....

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